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David Halberstam's The Education of a Coach is a very good book. One that is centered around football, it's players, coaches and games, but subtly seeps outside it to talk about leadership, humanity, personal growth, the cost of obsessions and relationships of fathers and sons. Halberstam has obviously done his homework, but his writing and explanations, from an immigrants plight to Cover Four, are so concise and eloquent he makes it look almost effortless. The countless interviews and study (check out the acknowledgements) paint a portrait and intimacy rarely seen or offered by Belichick. The fact that I found the uber-stoic and reserved Belichick's story so riveting while I can hardly stay awake during any of his press conferences or interviews is a testament to what Halberstam has pulled off.

The book is ultimately about the Belichicks, Steve and Bill, how the family bootstrapped its way out of rural Ohio and became inextricably entwined in the world of football and coaching. We see how a great athlete evolves into an even greater scout and how he passes those traits onto his son, whom bootstraps his way from unpaid Colts intern to world championship coach. Left at that, it would be an engaging and interesting story, but one that has ultimately been told before, both about Belichick and about countless others. Taking it beyond the simple Horatio Alger story, Halberstam goes deeper studying both Belichicks, seemingly prying into their minds seeking motivations, explanations and insight at each step of their careers. For a man so revered and admired, why did the elder Belichick choose to stay as a scout for Navy? What are the roots of the complex relationship between Parcells and Belichick? What was coaching that fearsome Giants defense like? What happened in Cleveland? How was the gameplan against the Rams devised? Halberstam goes beyond the flash in the pan answer, yet again the writing is so clean, the answers seem almost obvious.

Perhaps on of the most striking passages in the book deals with Belichick's difficult time in Cleveland.

"It was almost like a football lynching, and it became uncommonly personal; in the media the fans criticized his looks, his dress, his overall manner. It was so toxic that it seemed he had tapped into something deep and dark and angry in this city, little of it probably in the long run about football. Rather is was the product of myriad other disappointments, personal and economic and social, but, somehow the continued failure of a not very good football team, a group of strangers who were not viewed as strangers, became the focal point for so much rage; the alternative, one assistant coach privately noted, was probably to beat your wife."

It's interesting to note, that despite some concessions to the media (where many still feel he's lacking), the man that coached in Cleveland is remarkably intact in New England. That ultimate failure did little to shake his belief in the way an organization and team should be built. The similarities between the Kosar and Bledsoe situations are also eerily similar.

Tracing the trajectory of Belichick's career, Halberstam also introduces us to many fascinating people that both shaped Belichick and were shaped by him: Ernie Adams, Pioli, Parcells, Marchibroda, Lawrence Taylor, Pepper Johnson, Tom Brady. Ultimately they were all integral parts to Belichick's success in both giving and sharing their talents with a man obsessed with his love of coaching and building a team to reach the pinnacle of his profession. Curiously almost absent are mention of Weiss and Crennel. Perhaps, they, like their one-time boss, were already neck deep in their new jobs.

The obsession with all things football that overrides this is no more obvious than in the scant references to anything resembling a normal life. A few sentences on getting married mid-book and a mention of some children and a separation in the final pages. Ultimately, by the end, we've certainly learned more about the football man, but little of the real man. He is still under lock and key. Surely he must exist. I think. I hope.

This is a great book for football fans, not just Patriot fans (the well known Pats success comprise perhaps 50 of the slim volume's 270 pages), but the writing and insight into the human element of coaching and leadership make it a book for anyone that likes engaging, well written biographies.

A few other views on Halberstam's book:
The New York Times
Cleveland Plains Dealer
Sports Guy (at the bottom of the column)

Somewhere back in early 2005, ABC and league officials huddled up and put together the Monday Night Football schedule. It's the league's showcase game and you can bet both parties want a competitive affair between two good teams. If those two teams happen to be in big media markets, well, all the better. I am sure they do their best, but about this point in the season, some of those choices begin to look a little dubious. In part, it is a testament to the competition, parity and how quickly fortunes can rise and fall in the NFL. The other part is that they make some conservative picks and seem loathe to pick an upstart until they have a season or two of solid records behind them. To wit, old stalwarts like Green Bay, Philly, Pittsburgh and New England get multiple nods while Cincy, Jacksonville or the NY Giants are not on the slate. There's a reason part of TMQ's Super Bowl prediction formula is a team that did not play on MNF. The league has not been helped that a few of their frisky picks this year, the Jets (twice!), Baltimore (the Ray Lewis mic'd up corollary) and New Orleans have all been disappointing.

Still, given all that, at least on paper, the schedule has held up. That was sort of surprising given my general malaise looking back at this year. Maybe it's Tim McGraw clouding my judgment. In short, I thought a majority of the games and matchups had sucked this season. Flexible scheduling could not get here soon enough. Most Monday evenings, I thought my time better spent placing bets on which jiggle of Madden's belly fat would circumnavigate his girth first. Not that there was anything better to watch. I love the subtleness with which sister channel ESPN shoves us toward MNF. Hey, you don't want to watch football, here's a Scott Hamilton retrospective simulcasting on all seven of our channels .Without fail, figure skating is on opposite MNF as if to say if you aren't man enough to watch a real sport, fine, we've let our wives (and Neil Everett) take over the studio and they choose to put on figure skating. Saying all that, going into last night the combined records on the teams on MNF was 158-123 and until last night's drubbing, the average margin of victory was about a touchdown. Seven of the twelve games have been decided by four points of less and we've only had to weather one 20 plus blowout (though truth be told, there were two 19 point games).

Last night was supposed to be a marquee game, probably the last best game on the schedule (the combined records on the last four games are 37-51, including a barn burning Green Bay - Baltimore tilt looming in three weeks). Instead, after one step in the wrong direction on a play action pass, the game was effectively over. The Colts ahead and on turf are probably almost impossible to beat. They are a vastly superior, and different, team when ahead. With Leftwich going down, you have to say they have a good shot at going undefeated, which will at least put an end to those tiring '72 Dolphin champagne references. Unless they lose in the playoffs and then we'll have weeks, months and years of semantics and hair splitting on what constitutes undefeated.

Some other links:

The NYTs has some leftover myths about playing football on Thanksgiving.

The Grey Lady also has a typical story on the Hasselbeck brothers facing off (sorta) last weekend, notable really on for the younger (non-football playing) brothers nickname. Who knew car salesmen had such a good sense of humor? (via FO)

Baseball Analysts celebrates the 2006 Bill James Handbook and goes into a some depth on the James's essay on baserunning.

BJ Ryan becomes the richest reliever ever. Billy Wagner and other free agent reliever hold huge party in his honor.

Klapisch on the on-going courtship of Manny and the Mets. I'm still in the keep him camp.

With the opening season tournaments winding down, here is what we know of the fledgling college basketball season.

What's up NFC? How do you like that? The Chicago Bears own you. That's right, their defense is more awesome than the most awesome of things ever. Even village idiot Sean Salisbury ranks them as the #2 team in the NFC. Of course, they're actually #1, but he's confused because he's legally retarded. He thinks the Seahawks are #1, but that's stupid, because they are just birds and birds can't beat bears. If they were the Seattle Dragons or the Seattle GreatWhiteSharkCrocodileCougars, then maybe it would be a fair fight. But as it stands now, the Bears would eat the Seahawks then punch their wives in the uteri. They would hit Shaun Alexander so hard his teeth would straighten. So would Michael Strahan's. That's how hard they hit.

Furthermore, Alex Brown = maneater. That means he eats men. Sure you can giggle and think "he eats men, that's dirty" but then he'll punch you in the kidney with his oversized supersonic fist. Then you will cry. Ask Chris Smimms. He's currently crying. That's right, I called him Smimms. Why? Why not? He's soft. Ask Steve Young. He's tough as nails. He can tell you all about it. Because when you throw left handed, apparently you're a bad-ass, no matter how much gel you use in your hair.

But back to the Bears. Their defense is so awesome, 8 million naked supermodels holding whiskey and midgets wouldn't be as awesome as them. Brian Urlacher and Adewale Ogunleye are like Batman and Robin, that is, if Robin were black and had the strength of 350,000 men. Because that's what it's like when he hits you. You're like, "ow, I think I just got hit by a lot of people." That's because you did, sucka.

So NFC and heck, AFC too, you better watch out. Because the Bears are nastisimo. That's spanish for "gonna getcha". And when you start talking Spanish, that means business. And the Bears business is eating you with their mighty defense, Gary Fencick-style. So, you better cover your faces NFL, because the Bears are coming to town and you're about to get punched like it's 1985.

So I guess Josh Beckett is going to the Red Sox. Yeah...awesome. That means Red Sox fans are all fired up, which is annoying. Although I must admit, I'm still a little confused as how the whole thing happened. One minute the Marlins had a great deal on the table from the Rangers (Blalock and Thomas Diamond or John Danks). The next minute, they're accepting a crappier deal from the Red Sox. Way to go Florida. Thumbs up!!! I'm guessing Victor Zambrano wasn't available?

There is certainly no denying the fact that the Red Sox robbed the Marlins blind. "But wait a minute", you say. "These guys the Red Sox traded are good prospects." Let me tell you something. Prospects and the idea of prospects (especially for a big budget team like the Red Sox) is overrated. Hey, that's just the way the game has evolved. If you've got the money, aren't shy about spending it and have your teams built to win now, prospects are the pawns that get you what you need. Obviously you want them, they're cheap, some turn into stars, etc. But how many of these "can't-miss" guys, you know, miss? When you have a chance to get a legitimately kick-ass guy like Beckett, you do it, especially if you can afford it. He's only 25, won the World Series MVP when he was 23 and looks like he rides his BMX to the stadium. He's practically a prospect himself. Except one who is completely awesome except for a few boo-boo's on his finger every three weeks. This was a no-brainer for the Sox, regardless of the prospects potential. To me, "potential" is assigned a much higher value than it often deserves. Smaller market teams live and die on potential. But the big boys, don't have to. If this were a trade for, say, Randy Johnson, I'd say no way. But if it were say for Beckett or, I don't know, Carlos Beltran (yes, I'm still bitter), then obviously you do it.

So will Beckett be good on the Sox? Um, yes. As good as in Florida? Well Fenway isn't the pitchers park that he's used to, and there's the DH, blah blah. But, yes, he should be very good. There's my statistical insight. If you'd like a little more detail, head over to RotoAuthority and check out his projections.

And with all this excitement in Boston, the Yankees are holding on to Robinson Cano and Chien-Ming Wang like a fat kid holding onto a pair of Krispy Kreams. Which is, um, awesome, I guess. NJ.com reported that the Yankees jumped into the Beckett fray when they heard the Red Sox got involved (naturally). The Marlins asked for Wang (hehe), and the Yankees were like, "Hey, whoa, no way." Dumb. I mean, sure these guys are young and have potential. But if you can trade Wang, for a pitcher who makes $4 million, is 25 and already whoops your ass, what are you waiting for? Again, don't get me wrong, I'm all about holding on to Wang (hehe) and Cano, unless the offer is amazing. Because think about it, their value is sky-high right now. If you can trade one of them for Beckett ... ok, now I'm starting to cry.

Speaking of crying, don't you wish you were a Marlins fan? I really feel bad for all 9 of them. I mean, imagine a supermodel inexplicably coming into your life and having sex with you for 7 straight days. She's satisfied, you celebrate with a parade, then she leaves. You don't hear from her for six years, then she comes back for 6 more days of the most incredible sex which once again culminates with a parade. And again, before you know it, she's gone. But this time she leaves her panties and a framed photo of Miguel Cabrera. So your sleeping with a model one day then back to getting handjobs from the girl who cleans the Burger King bathrooms the next. That's tough.

So, in the end, the Marlins got younger and cheaper, the Red Sox got better and the Mets just got Delgado. But hey, they Yankees still have Cano and Wang. And really, that's all that matters.

Um, ok, headline writers, editors, newspapers, major news organization ... we get it. No, seriously we do. Carnell Williams, Tampa Bay running back, his nickname is "Cadillac". We got it. Honestly. So how about you all stop with the awful, unimaginative, pun-laden headlines that compare Williams to an actual Cadillac vehicle? How does that sound? I mean, I know they're all cute and funny and people around the office probably read them and they're like, "Nice headline, Chet. You made him sound just like the car, LOL." And then you wink, make a little gun with your hand, "Thanks Brent, phewww pheww, that's why they pay me the big bucks." But please, stop.

These headlines, they're not funny, they're not original and they read like they've been written by Ricky Henderson. Does every headline NEED to be about how Cadillac is: in the shop, needs an oil change, just broke down, was ridden to victory (awkward), has a flat tire, keeps rolling on, is turbo charged, is racing along, has new rims, just got detailed, needs a tune up, has new tire treads, raced by defenders, ran over defenders, sped by defenders, left skid marks on defenders (also awkward), sideswiped defenders, got hit and ran, spun out, sped through, got caught in a traffic jam, and got the clap from a tranny in Clearwater? It's a little ridiculous.

Here are a few of these masterpieces I found from doing a quick Google search.

Bucs go for nice ride in brand new "Cadillac". [San Jose Mercury News]
Cadillac back on the open road. [Charlotte Sun Herald]
Cadillac tunes up: 116 yards. [Florida Today]
Cadillac Williams fixes his flat. [CBS Sportsline]
A bump in the road. [Tampa Tribune]
Cadillac out of alignment. [The Ledger]
Bucanneers "Cadillac" runs off road after great start. [San Jose Mercury News]
Cadillac's Escapade: How He's Driving Football Cards. [Beckett Football Cards]

See what I mean? If your goal as a writer is to be the envy of every retarded kid's eye, then congratulations!!! Where do I send the balloons to? Or rather, which petting zoo? And if you write a headline like, "Cadillac is back from his tune up" and sit back proudly with your arms folded behind your head and think, "yup, this one's a doozy!"... do us a favor, cut yourself shaving and throw yourself into a shark tank. Because honestly, I'd rather get gonorrhea from an eskimo than read another one of these shitty headlines.

So writers, editors, everyone, please stop being lazy and taking the easy way out. We all know his nickname is "Cadillac". We get it. So maybe you actually come up with something original for a change. Maybe something that doesn't involve a car. I mean, what if Williams nickname were "Thundercock" or "Pussy Pirate". Then what would you do?

I guess we'll never know.

Nothing like a blockbuster trade to get the hot stove piping. Some of the different reactions around the web:

Baseball Analysts has a reasoned take and despite the bloat of Lowell's contract, the relative sprat of Beckett's deal tip things in the Sox favor.

The Boston Globe cautions fans on Beckett's injury prowess but still thinks the Sox landed a pretty big fish.

Soxaholix has the yin and yang feelings of probably a large part of the Nation this morning.

Sox Therapy thinks the deal puts the Sox clearly in the lead for the division next year.

Transaction Oracle uses the Twins as a comparison in using prospects value versus letting it fade away and comes to the conclusion that most seem to be settling on. A great trade for the Sox in the near term who have clearly shifted to a win now mentality and were willing to let others wait for the potential talent.

The Athletics Nation wonders if this is the opening salvo, what will other top prospects bring.

NY Newsday has the Yankees getting aced and wondering how they'll respond. Or, with the reception they've gotten so far in the market, if they can respond.

A couple other interesting hot stove links:
Bryan Smith looks at what the Marlins are up to as they shed talent.

The NY Times has a copy of the binder that Boras is handing out to potential Johnny suitors.

I know it's just a game and really it's not even that. It's a pretend game based on a game played by men in exceedingly tight pants, but I find my (like I have anything to do with it) weekend fantasy football performance can really affect my Monday morning mood. Win and I don't mind sifting through the Monday morning stories. Lose and I'm bitter and disaffected. Of course, it might also be getting up at 5 am for a flight each week. Flying coach will do that to a man. Either way, after Curtis Martin did his best to derail and dampen my tender feelings, Larry Johnson shredded the Texans and I could hit the hay at halftime a happy man.

Football Outsiders has it's Sunday roundtable ramblings. Always interesting reading.

Peter King on the difference between T.O. and Chad Johnson. For now, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt though it seems a bit like splitting hairs. I guess we'll find out when Chad's contract is up.

A rather odd moment yesterday during the Pats/Saints telecast when the Fox booth team (who, by the way, had to be about the eighth or ninth string) announced the death of Belichick's father, Steve. Bob Ryan has a strong column on the relationship between Bill and his father. I'm right in the middle of Halberstam's book on Belichick and knowing now how strong and influential a presence Steve was in his life, I'm amazed he was able to hold it together to coach yesterday, even if that was what his father would have wanted.

King Kaufman on the two exciting pro and college shootouts this weekend.

The Mighty MJD on the escalating Marbury - Brown feud. Ever since he lit up my alma mater in the tourney back in '96, I haven't been a Marbury fan and he's done little to change my feelings in the ten years since. With my luck Ainge will be trying to trade for any day now.

You know those ridiculous application and cocktail party questions that ask if you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be? For some reason when I was profiled in the local paper during high school, I said Richard Nixon. To this day, I'm not really sure why I said that. Today, I usually say Muhammad Ali. He was far from the huggable, saintly man that is often portrayed today, but I find him one of the most fascinating and inspiring athletes and human beings in the last century. If you have not ever seen the documentary When We Were Kings or read David Remnick's book, King of the World. I highly recommend both. With a museum opening in his home town of Louisville, Pat Forde looks at the relationship between Ali and his hometown.

Here they are, in all their glory.

Right-Handed Starters:
A.J. Burnett
Roger Clemens
Kevin Millwood
Matt Morris
Jeff Weaver
Kevin Brown
Paul Byrd
Esteban Loaiza
Brian Moehler
Hideo Nomo
Brett Tomko
Elmer Dessens
Sidney Ponson
Aaron Sele
Joe Mays
Jeff D'Amico
Joey Hamilton
Shane Reynolds
Albie Lopez
Jimmy Haynes
Miguel Asencio
Scott Elarton
Pedro Astacio
Andy Ashby
Jason Johnson
Rick Helling
Jose Lima
Ismael Valdez
Scott Erickson
Jamey Wright
Tony Armas Jr.
James Baldwin

Left-Handed Starters:
Jarrod Washburn
Jamie Moyer
Shawn Estes
Al Leiter
Omar Daal
Denny Neagle
Kirk Rueter
John Halama
Brian Anderson
Kenny Rogers

Is it even remotely possible to contain your excitement?

It's going to be incredible how many teams overpay for these guys. Just thinking about it gives me the douche chills. So long as the Yankees don't think James Baldwin or any of the others listed are the answer, I'm fine. Although there is something strangely exciting about reading breaking news like, "Shawn Estes is seeking a 3-year, $18 M contract." Ok, you're right, there isn't.

I was too young to see it live and it was really the generation before I was a NFL fan, but it was twenty years ago tonight that LT hit Theisman.

Transaction Oracle looks at the first couple off-season signings, Jason Bay and Scott Eyre.

The Good Phight has an interesting chart of all MLB team's lineup positions, ranked by OBP.

Bill Russell on NPR.

A lawyer on the legalities involved and the likely outcome of the T.O. hearing.

Now, see this is what the LPGA needed. A little rivalry. Someone standing up to Annika the automaton. Though of course, Seinfeld said it best:

Elaine: Ok, why? Why do guys do this? What is so appealing to men about a cat fight?
Kramer: Yeye cat fight!
Jerry: Because men think if women are grabbing and clawing at each other there's a chance they might somehow kiss.

Not that it got that far, but despite all the Wie press, Annika once again tore up the LPGA. Not that anyone noticed.

Is it just me, or is this a little retarded? Scott Boras is asking for a seven-year, $84 million contract for Johnny Damon. I don't get it. Isn't everyone, EVERYONE, saying that Damon will be hard pressed to get a 5 year, $50M deal? So I guess the only sane, logical thing would be to ask for this. Awesome. Thumbs up.

How is that even remotely a good strategy? That wouldn't work anywhere else. I mean, say you're interested in a girl, but she's not sure about you because you drive a van. So you have this exchange:

Guy: Hey, want to go out to dinner with me?
Girl: Um, I don't know.
Guy: Ok, but if we go I'm gonna have to smell your ass after dessert.

Speaking from experience, that never works. So what is Boras doing? Sounds to me like he's being a creepy ass-smeller. And nobody likes those. Oh and I'm sure Red Sox fans are thrilled too. First Theo, then Manny, now this. I'll admit, when the season ended, I wasn't sure how much Red Sox fans wanted Damon back. And when I read this, I wasn't sure if they were desperate enough to jump on this offer. Then I got an email from my friend Mike that summed it all up:

"You hear that Boras asked NY for 7 yrs $84M for Damon? Wow. I hope Boras falls asleep in bed tonight while reading the newspaper and smoking a cigarette."

So I guess that's a no.

Seriously, was there a happier person in the world than Terrell Owens on Monday night? When Roy Williams picked off that gift from McNabb, Owens must have completely shit his pants. I bet he was jumping around, screaming at the television like a fat girl on TRL. "OH...SHIT! Damn, Donovan. Damn man, you soft. You know who wouldn't have thrown that interception? Do you know who? That's right. Brett Favre, bitch. That's right I said it. What are you gonna do? Tell Hugh? I'll smack that bitch ... Oh, look at this mutha fu... Donovan, stop limping. Damn. What are you gonna do next? Get the flu? You know who never gets the flu? Brett Favre."

I'll admit, living in the Northeast, we sometimes lose perspective over the whole Sox/Yankees thing, especially when beer is involved. Rest assured Greg and I have mutually agreed to never take it this far. In fact, we promise never to get even close to this zip code. If you've got a Y chromosome, you might not want to read this on a full stomach (via sportsfilter).

"A RUGBY fan who cut out his testicles with wire cutters to mark a Wales victory is at a loss to explain why he did it. Geoffrey Huish, 31, performed the impromptu self-surgery in February when his beloved Wales beat world champion England. After performing the deed, Mr Huish put his severed anatomy in a bag and took them to his local social club to show fellow fans. He collapsed with blood loss and was rushed to hospital but surgeons could not reattach his missing parts."

And that's only one choice quote. The article is chock full of insanity.

Interesting look behind the scenes at CBS during a day of football broadcast production. Bashing commentators and networks is sometimes akin to shooting fish in a barrel, but in my more stoic moments, I'll admit it's probably a bit harder than it looks and we definitely take much of the camera angles, cut-ins and other complexities for granted these days.

FO power rankings and commentaries after week 10 are up. FO contributor Michael David Smith also has a pretty lengthy and ranging interview with Romo, as well. Romo seems to put a little too much stock in the emotions football brings out. He seems to be going for the Hulk defense. But a couple times I almost thought he was contrite.

For our flocks of Canadian readers, a list of early surprises in the NHL season. You know what isn't surprising? That the Bruins whiffed on their shot at free agents and are playing a dispirited and defenseless brand of hockey.

Oh boy, the NL MVP, the award everyone's been talking about. No? What's that? No one cares? Oh. To be honest, I'm getting a little tired of these. I know, I know, MLB and ESPN say I should be really excited. But when they're all said and done, after all the talk and the hype (see: AL MVP), no one really cares. Am I going to run out and buy myself some AL MVP commemorative purple lipstick? Well, maybe. But for the most part, the awards are announced and I just shrug indifferently and continue downloading porn.

Oh, side note. I was trying to find a cute little picture for this post. So I opted to go the conceptual route and I typed "first place" into a Google image search. Let me tell you, people will take pictures of ANYTHING. "Ooh, here's a piece of paper sitting next to a volleyball, let me capture this memory forever." So, yeah, most images were crap, which is why I went with the standard "baseball players in crouched position" shot. Although, I must say, my search wasn't completely useless. I did find this awesome picture of Jeanne Zelasko standing with Tim McCarver backstage before a broadcast.

Anyway, here are the NL MVP nominees, in projected order of finish.

4. Morgan Ensberg, HOU: Where did this guy come from? Remember when last year in your fantasy league when everyone drafted him early thinking he was going to be a sleeper, but then he sucked? Remember that? Huh? Well, no way you draft him this year, right? No way you take him ahead of guys like Jim Thome, Nomar or Kerry Wood, right? Nope. You sure don't. Where were the "experts" on this one? Hello? Anyone? Oh great, now I'm crying.

3. Andrew Jones, ATL: Finally. We've been waiting for this season his whole career. Not that I'm a Braves fan, but I always seem to draft him onto at least one fantasy team. It's a tradition. 8th round every year. But this year I had a feeling he'd make the jump. During Spring Training, I read that he got some batting tips from Willie Mays. He told Andrew to open up his stance a little more. The result? Started hammering the ball. Wasn't a fluke. Rumor has it, neither are his dance moves. His off-season consultation with Dee Lite has parlayed itself into tighter pants, more hip swinging and a DVD box set. This kid's got rhythm.

2. Derrek Lee, CHC: He's tall. And good. Like, almost, kinda-sorta Triple Crown good. But the Cubs stunk. So he won't win. But if your cat gets stuck in a tree, or you need a partner in your local kite flying contest (not because of his height, just the fact that Lee loves kites), he's your man.

1. Albert Pujols, STL: No Barry Bonds this year clears the way for Pujols to finally get his hands on the award. Oh sure, Lee had a better year statistically, but this is the MVP. Anything goes. Pick a name out of a hat. Vote for Vlad. Doesn't matter. Anyway, this one is for all the years of finishing 2nd. And for having to shower in front of LaRussa on a daily basis. No award makes up for having to see your boss standing there staring at you in jogging pants, with a full erection, tinted glasses all fogged up. But this one certainly helps.

Over the summer, many of you probably read the news of the NHL's television deal with OLN and shrugged, the final coffin nail on hockey's road to roller derby status. But, as Slate explains, they are larger forces at work, namely, Comcast. Now I know it's hard to see Comcast as the underdog. I mean they almost went out and bought ESPN (through a Disney takeover bid) just last year, but when you are talking about trying to build a national sports network to knock off, or at least challenge Bristol, ESPN is definitely the heartthrob captain quarterback and Comcast, in whatever guise, is Lucas. As an RCN customer, I do not have the chance to watch OLN's efforts, but Slate's reviewer isn't all that kind. But it's still early. Don't forget ESPN started with those hideous mustard blazers. Actually, at their current pace, I'd take back the blazers for a crisp 30 minute SportsCenter with some lean highlights and actual, real reporting. I digress. One thing they do seem to get right, probably the most important part, is the on-ice action.

The network has wisely chosen to gear its coverage to the already converted-no pathetic Fox-esque glowing pucks to help out the masses. Years of plummeting ratings have cemented hockey's niche-sport status, so why alienate the base by chasing nonexistent newbies?

Personally, I think ESPN does a solid job in showing the actual action. Their choice of commentators on the other hand. It's probably a pipe dream, but why, why, why can't Fox learn this lesson. Especially regarding it's baseball coverage? Anyone popping pills to stay up late enough to watch the playoffs does not, I repeat, does not need Scooter to explain a changeup.

TrueHoop on the William Wesley. Who? Exactly.

Will NYC ever really embrace A-Rod? Will he ever share the same one way cul-de-sac of affection the city has for Jeter. Probably not, but a few World Series would go a long way towards helping matters.

John Sickels, purveyor of minor league baseball stats, looks into his crystal ball for David Wright.

Larry Walker, Hall of Famer? This could be an interesting litmus test of the Coors Field effect. I think he misses the first ballot, but eventually cracks it. Of course it should never have come to that. Sometimes I still dream about those 1994 Expos and what could have been . . .

FO has the quick reads on week 10. If you haven't already, it's really worth the fifteen or some minutes to learn some of these stats. Sure it will really cement your reputation as someone with too much time on his hands and leave your significant other questioning whether you really understand what is important. But think just for a moment of the potential fantasy football rewards. It's like exploiting OBP circa 1991. I thought you'd see it my way.

If college basketball is your drug and mid-majors is your fix of choice, Basketball Junkie has a primer that will scratch that itch. If all of that makes you wince like Vitale is screaming in your ear, just remember, you will not have to endure any Vermont, Tom Brennan or Taylor Coppenrath stories this year.

Off Wing Opinion with his thoughts on the current state of the MLS and why a neutral site for the MLS Cup isn't helping anyone.

The AL MVP. ARod vs. Ortiz. It's an interesting debate with no real answer. And honestly, do we REALLY care? I mean, ARod wins, people will say Ortiz was robbed and vice versa. Then again, it gives Sox and Yankees fan something to argue about until April:

"Dood, Arod is wicked gay."

"Yeah, why don't you and Ortiz suck this, eh?"

So, who will win? Well, there seem to be two major camps. The "Ortiz is clutch and a more valuable player for the Sox" vs. "ARod plays the field/has better overall numbers". Both of which are true, which doesn't help at all. So, let's look at some statistics which will prove both points, give us no definite answer and bring us right back to where we started, shall we?

Ok, as far as value to the team, Ortiz (and Manny) essentially carried the Red Sox in the last two months because, well, the Red Sox weren't really as good as everyone thought. The Yankees on the other hand, were a better team (barely), with a deeper lineup. So, ARod was politely excused from doing most of the heavy lifting. Then again, some people might argue that maybe he wasn't excused, but just put his hands in his pockets and whistled out the back door (hehe, backdoor) ... which isn't entirely true. Looking at the last two months of the season, Ortiz hit .302 with 22 HR's and 59 RBI's. ARod batted .320 with 19 HR's and 48 RBI's. Very close. And in the last 11 games of the regular season as both teams were vying for pole position in the east, A-Rod hit .359 with three homers and 10 RBI. Papi, over his last 11 games, hit .262 with three extra-base hits and eight RBI. See what I mean? We're going right back to where we started.

So let's talk about being "clutch", the Santa Claus of Major League Baseball. I know a lot of pundits will be like "nyah, there's no such thing as clutch hitting (snortle)." Alright, I get it. Everything is mathematical. Every player is a robot. No one can step up in a big situation. No such thing exists. You have the TI-82. Awesome. Well then how do you explain Ortiz hitting .352 with 7 HR's and 92 RBI's with runners in scoring position? Dumb luck? On the flip side, Arod hit .290 with 9 HR's and 77 RBI's with runners in scoring position, which is a lot better than he's been given credit for. And in "close and late" situation, at-bats from the 7th inning or later when the score was tied or within one run either way, Ortiz hit .346, with 11 homers and 33 RBI in 78 at-bats while A-Rod hit .293, four homers and 12 RBI in 75 at-bats. But while Ortiz gets all the game winning highlights ... surprise, surprise ... Alex Rodriguez has 19 home runs that tied the score or put his club ahead, while Ortiz only has 18. Who saw that coming? Not me.

So there is no denying Ortiz was a better clutch hitter (again, if you believe in that alleged tomfoolery) and more valuable to the Red Sox in a variety of situations than ARod was to the Yankees. But it's hard to ignore the value that comes with the fact that A-Rod had more total hits, scored more runs, had a higher batting average, higher on-base and slugging, more total bases, more steals and actually played the field. And while ARod wasn't a gold-glover, he did have a higher fielding percentage than gold-glove winner Eric Chavez and he was 5th in the AL in double plays turned. He also only committed 12 errors, which is, you know, good. I'm just talking basics here. Was he a gold-glove defender? Probably not. Was he good to very good? Yes. Why are his lips so purple? Who knows?

Oh, one more statistic. When you look at win shares, A-Rod had 37, first in the AL, to Papi's 31, fifth in the league.

So after this is all said and done, what does it mean? It proves that I know how to do research on the internet. It also proves that both players deserve thunderous applause and mountains of bitches. And it proves, like I predicted, we're right back to where we started. So, who's going to win? Here are the top 3, in predicted order of finish.

3. Mariano Rivera, NYY: Here's a secret. He was actually the Yankees MVP this year. Shhhhhh! Oh, and he can also use his ears to steal HBO . . . allegedly.

2. David Ortiz, BOS: His sense of "valuable-ness" to the Red Sox was a little more obvious. But ultimately his love of mango salsa, the fact he was a DH and ARod's overall numbers will hurt him in the eyes of the voters.

1. Alex Rodriguez, NYY: Had one of the best seasons ever for a Yankee right-handed hitter. Now, he's got to conquer the playoffs. No seriously. Cut the crap. I don't want to have to write another one of these lunatic rants.

Of course, there's always the chance it ends in a tie. Or that Konerko wins it because no one can make up their mind. You know, since everyone is hypnotized by his awesomeness. Whatever happens, both Ortiz and ARod are deserving of the award and neither one will be a loser. Except, of course, the one who doesn't win.

And tomorrow ... the final installment of the awards projections ... NL MVP.

A couple things worth reading, while I wonder just how the hell head banging Gus Frerote lit up the Belichick and his schemes for 360.

Don Banks has Belichick commenting on the Browns sudden move to the Baltimore ten years ago. Some illuminating comments from a man known to be some guarded. And I have a personal circuitous attachment to this, as well. In high school, I had a summer job working for the official moving company of the NFL. After Belichick was fired, part of the crew I worked on went out to move the family from Cleveland to New England, where he'd join the Tuna. Everything went off without a hitch, except dinner. No local pizza places would deliver to the Belichick residence. Talk about taking your football seriously.

SI has started pimping its 2005 Sportsman of the Year. A rather banal award that, like the swimsuit issue, seems to have more meaning and relevance in our collective memory than in the present. Except when they give it to a women's soccer team, than everyone has an opinion. That being said, with no measuring stick whatsoever, this year's crop seems thinner than usual.

A couple of good FO on Fox articles. The midseason projections and the most under-paid NFL players are both worth a read.

Just when you thought it was safe to turn on ESPN again, MMQB wonders just what kind of havoc could result if the arbiter sides with T.O.

Et tu, Brute? On the day the AL MVP awards are handed out (more from Greg on this later), Gordon Edes of the Boston Globe lays out the case for A-Rod. Taking passion, rivalry and the fact that a little Papi figure sits on top of my monitor, hard to argue the Rod shouldn't get it.

So the holdiays are coming. And I don't know about you, but I usually give my friends and family the same crap gifts every year: t-shirts, Glade plug-ins, snuff films, etc. So I was thinking this year, maybe ...MAYBE... I'll put a little thought into it.

So I did a quick search online and oh boy oh boy just look at what I found. For a reasonable price, you can get the future NBA star in your family a Dwayne Wade rookie card. How adorable would that be to see grandma, wearing her And-1 jersey and headband, tearing this open? Then again, maybe basketball isn't for you. Maybe you're a "football" "family" or maybe you just want to divorce your wife. Well then maybe you'll enjoy a Randy Moss RC? Or better yet, you could buy both. Or, you could buy a Kia. Then again, why would you waste your money on that?

So what's going on with the NL CY Young Award? Well unlike its American League counterpart, the winner won't look like they moonlight in half shirts and silk scarves whispering "hey daddy" into the open windows of oncoming traffic at stop lights. You'll also find the talent level to be slightly higher in the National League. And by that I mean Colon would finish 108th. So let's get to the nominees, in predicted order of finish.

3. Roger Clemens, HOU: (13-8, 1.87 ERA, 211.1 IP, 185 K, 62 BB, 1 CG, 0 SHO) His 13 wins won't help him. Had the Astros not been shut out in 7 of his starts, and had they scored more than 18 runs in his first 11 starts, he might have a shot at this. Of course what will help him is the fact that he's not human and has an adamantium skeleton. Not only did he have a 1.87 ERA but he sported a .198 BAA. I also heard he can walk through walls. And that he can turn ugly strippers into batting gloves. There's something really special about this guy.

2. Dontrelle Willis, FLA: (22-10, 2.63 ERA, 236.1 IP, 170 K, 55 BB, 7 CG, 5 SHO) Minus an awful July, where he sported a 7.14 ERA, Willis was awesome. The 10 losses are a bit high, but then again, he does have 5 shutouts and 7 complete games. So take that. "D-Train" is a fun little nickname too. That is, until every stupid, extremely white announcer (see: Joe Buck) tries to come up with a poignant, ass-scented metaphor. "All aboard. The D-Train is leaving the station.", "Can anyone stop this runaway D-Train?", "Hey Tim, do you think he took D-Train to work today?" Alright, I get it already.

1. Chris Carpenter, STL: (21-5, 2.83 ERA, 241.2 IP, 213 K, 51 BB, 7 CG, 4 SHO) No brainer. He's 1st or 2nd in almost every pitching category and went undefeated from late June to mid-September. If there was any doubt whatsoever, look at the 7 complete games, the 241.1 IP and the 213 K's. Ridiculous. I can only imagine how good he'd be if he didn't have to waste so much time and energy resisting Tony LaRussa's sexual advances. "Hey Chris, want a ride home in the van?" "Um ... no thanks Tony. I'm riding home with Albert. Maybe tomorrow."

Oh boy, everyone's favorite. Manager of the year. I know you can't wait. So let's get to the nominees, in predicted order of finish.

National League:

3. Tony LaRussa, STL: There's just something about this guy I can't stand. Maybe it's the arrogance he exudes. Maybe it's because he looks like a Level 2 sex offender. I don't know what it is. But he'll get nominated because the Cardinals had yet another 100-win season. Sure, they had more injuries than years past. But they also had Chris Carpenter. Unless LaRussa took him out behind the shed (awkward) and taught him everything he knew (also awkward), he shouldn't finish higher than third.

2. Bobby Cox, ATL: The king of the regular season. And while the Braves winning the NL East has become second nature, things weren't so easy this year. Losing Chipper Jones, or "The Chip" (as I like to call him) for over a month, starting 18 rookies and having a revolving door of closers was certainly a challenge. But once again Cox has shown us tha...Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

1. Phil Garner, HOU: In my eyes, he finishes 2nd and his moustache wins Manager of the Year. Words can not express the love I have for that thing. I think by next April, it will be ready to play second base. But anyway, Garner led the Beltran-less Astros (a team NO ONE expected to win anything) to the Wild Card and World Series. I'm not sure how he did it. In fact I'm not sure he knows either. Regardless, he and his moustache (Steve) should have a very nice offseason.

American League:

3. Eric Wedge, CLE: Well, everyone expected Cleveland to make "the jump" this year, so the late season run wasn't exactly a big surprise. What was more surprising was how awful they started out. So why are we even talking about this guy? Well, some people say he rallied the Indians to a 38-18 August and September run. I'm not sure how he did that. How does a manager suddenly turn a team around? Well, ok, Viking Cruise. But after that, I have no idea.

2. Joe Torre, NYY: If picking juicy, delicious boogers were the top qualificaton, then he would win in a landslide. There is no doubt, that man certainly loves his snots. But you know, he's actually not a bad manager. And by not bad, I mean awesome. And by awesome, I mean, I would actually eat one of his boogers. And by would, I mean I have. And by have, I mean chicks don't really "dig" me.

1. Ozzie Guillen, CHW: Yeah, I'm not tired of this guy at all yet. Ok, let's get this straight. Guillen is not a brilliant manager. He's not. Just because you won a World Series doesn't mean you're suddenly a baseball genius (see: Terry Francona). Enough with the "Ozzieball" already. A game strategy relying on pitching and speed? Congratulations. You invented the National League.

On tap tomorrow ... NL CY YOUNG predictions.

So who's going to win the AL CY Young award? Well, pretend you don't see the giant picture of our favorite transsexual over on the left and let's go through the nominees, in predicted order of finish.

7. John Garland, CHW: (18-10, 3.50 ERA, 221.0 IP, 115 K, 47 BB, 3 CG, 3 SHO) R-Kelly has a better shot of being named a Girl Scout Troop leader than Garland does at winning this award. Started off a blazing, yet unbelievable, 8-0 but then went 10-10 the rest of the way. Most telling was the .255 BAA which is among the highest of players on this list. A great season for sure, but there are other White Sox pitchers more deserving.

6. Mark Buerlhe, CHW: (16-8, 3.12 ERA, 236.2 IP, 149 K, 40 BB, 3 CG, 1 SHO) After escaping from prison a few years ago, Buerhle has been one of the White Sox better pitchers. Like Garland, Buerhle started off well. He raced out of the gate, probably stole a car or two and sat at 10-2 with a 2.58 ERA at the break. Of course, he followed that up by going 6-5 in the second half with a 3.84 ERA. Good, not great. Sorry, please try again.

5. Jose Contreras, CHW: (15-7, 3.61 ERA, 204.2 IP, 154 K, 75 BB, 1 CG, 0 SHO) There are way too many White Sox on this list. But Contreras has the honor of being the only one of the bunch to have washed upon this country's shore clutching a beach ball. That's worth at least 3 votes in my book. His overall stats don't overwhelm you. But his second half (11-2, 2.96 ERA) and eventual post season performance is a big reason why the White Sox won it all. His post All-Star Game numbers bump him ahead of his teammates.

4. Cliff Lee, CLE: (18-10, 3.50 ERA, 221.0 IP, 115 K, 47 BB, 3 CG, 3 SHO) Cliff Lee? I know, I don't get it either. But he was 9-1 after the break, and much like Contreras, was integral in his team's late season success. Lee winning it, sporting 115 K's, seems very unlikely, but I can see some writers trying to be cute. Giving it to the little train that could. Choo! Choo! Yeah, whatever.

3. Johan Santana, MIN: (16-7, 2.87 ERA, 231.2 IP, 238 K, 45 BB, 3 CG, 2 SHO) If the CY Young is supposed to go to the leagues best pitcher, then this is a no brainer. Unfortunately, no one really knows who's supposed to get it. It's based on wins. No, wait, it's based on ERA. Nope, haha, sorry. My B, yo. It's batting average against. No, haha, it's all of it. Or none of it. Seriously, who knows? Santana's .210 BAA should . . . SHOULD . . . make up for the fact that he only had 16 wins . . . but it won't.

2. Mariano Rivera, NYY: (7-4, 1.38 ERA, 78.1 IP, 80 K, 18 BB, 43 SV/47 OPP) If it were up to me being a completely unbiased Yankee fan, Mo would win. First off, the ears. There's two points. The fact he can't speak English, there's one more. And the fact that he was the Yankees MVP this season, that's a lot of points. Without him the Yankees, dare I say, wouldn't have made the playoffs. He settled down against the Red Sox and dominated the rest of the league (0.87 WHIP, .212 BAA) He gets my vote. Although I don't actually have a vote, so we're playing pretend here.

And the winner (unfortunately) . . .

1. Bartolo Colon, LAA: (21-8, 3.48 ERA, 222.2 IP, 157 K, 43 BB, 2 CG, 0 SHO) He really has that "I've spent a lot of time in the back of vans" look to him, doesn't he? I hate the fact that the greasy She-Male is going to win this thing. I've been talking about how overrated he is for years now. I mean, it's such a tight race here. You know what's going to win it for him? The 21 wins. The one stat he has the least amount of control over. I mean, he was the AL's only 20 game winner and that's going to be the clincher. So he played on a division winner. Had the best run support of everyone on this list. Had a wildly average September. And everyone's going to vote for him. Why? Because people are stupid.

Again, why don't I get a vote? Is it because I refer to the AL CY Young Award winner as having both sexual reproductive organs? Well, that's just silly.

Tomorrow . . . the MANAGER OF THE YEAR projections.

Peyton and the Colts blew through the hype like it was the Patriots tissue paper secondary. The final score was not even close to indicative of the margin of victory. Good coaching can only take mediocre players so far and again lacking Seymour up front, there was almost zero pressure up front and Peyton was able to pick his spots at will. Each time a Colts receiver caught the ball, there seemed to be a five yard cushion, no matter where the catch was made. And Harrison and Wayne are too good to drop many of those. Going into the game the Pat's had a razor thing margin for error if they had a chance of staying in the game. The first drive showed they could move the ball on the Colt's D and after one of the few times the front four brought real pressure on Manning, Vrabel picked off the pass, but Dillon's fumble seemed to be the tipping point where Indy just floored it and pulled away for good. It was frustrating game to watch. If Dillon's fumble was the breaking point, the almost countless Colts conversions on third and whatever was the pile of straw. The Pats couldn't get a stop. A three and out to start the second half stopped any comeback attempt cold and it was really a matter of clockwatching from then on out.

I'll give both coaches credit for recognizing the importance of each series, going for it on fourth and short, and not just punting it away because it was fourth down. I didn't even have a problem with the onsides kick. The norm was not working and the Colts were going in whether it was a twenty yard drive or an eighty yard drive. Being down, risks are necessary if you want a shot at getting back into it. The Dillon fumble hurt worse. Ultimately, good coaching can only cover so many injury holes and take mediocre talent only so far. You need playmakers to win in the NFL. Tom Brady alone isn't enough. The schedule and the division still probably allow the Pats to get into the playoffs, but the Colts showed a good team can exploit them. It was bound to happen eventually.

Reiss's Pieces has the blow by blow takedown and post game reaction.

Ron Borges, of the Globe, says at least we know the Colts can take down the j.v. squad.

In Indy, their trumpeting the breaking of the curse (oh, how original), yet carefully toeing the one game at a time line.

Happy that the hype monster has been fed, the national media seemed to have quickly replaced the "beat the Pats" gorilla with "beat the Pats in the playoffs" on the Colts back.

MJD has blogdom's reaction, including some thoughts on that bizarre Belichick flag throwing incident.

PFW has the same story everyone else has about T.O. Blah, blah, blah, Eagles had no choice, blah, talented, but loose cannon, blah, blah, doesn't make them better, but make them a team, blah, blah, safe to hug in the locker room again. ESPN is of course salivating as early season NBA highlight weren't lighting anyone's fire. I'm just tired of it all. Would you rather be stuck watching an OTL episode about steroids or the T.O. show? Personally, I'd stab my eyes out.

Baseball Analysts have the second part of their free agency preview. Most eligible, numbers 11 - 20. Of course after going through the list, I have to agree with Baseball Musings, this might not be the best year to have money to spend. Hard to argue when Kyle Farnsworth makes the top twenty. Not that that will stop teams.

USA Today has word that GMs are at least discussing replay. Buck and McCarver will conceive a child together before this happens.

TrueHoop has some Tuesday NBA headlines from around the league.

In recent years, MMQB's favorite subject after Favre, of course, has been Owens. He covered the Eagles/Skins game and has his thoughts and other reactions.

Aaron Schatz looks at NFL scoring being down to record levels this season even with all the rule changes.

You know, most of the time covering the crime beat is a thankless and dreary task, but sometimes, once in a blue moon, you catch one of these over the scanner and haul ass to the scene.

The two cheerleaders were having sex with each other in a stall at the bar when other patrons got angry they were taking so long in the bathroom.

The new Ask the Ref column is up over at the Chicago Tribune. Worth the bugmenot.

With the Pats not playing till tonight, the Miami/VT game was the only weekend game I planned to work my schedule around to watch. Glad I put the effort into that. I haven't watched a lot of VT but it seems like the prescription to beat Vick II is the same as Vick I. Make him beat you with his arm. For all the hype of Marcus being the true QB of the family, he looked plain awful Saturday night.

Lots of interesting NBA articles floating out there this weekend. Eye on Gambling (of all places) looks at how Malcolm Gladwell's Blink could be applied to thin slice an NBA game.

The WSJ looks at the continued moneyballing of the NBA, as teams make more use of statistics in making lineups and personnel moves. 82games has been all over this for awhile with their player pairs and a boat load of other stats.

I'm in agreement with TrueHoop, I'm not sure why SI didn't decide to put more of the "Scout's Take" in the issue, but the outtakes are worth reading for each team.

Baseball Analysts has a free agency preview.

My favorite hockey player, Cam Neely (damn you Samuelson), goes into the Hall tonight.

I don’t know anything about the NBA. Well, at least not much after 1995. You want to talk about MJ, Barkley, Bird, Magic, Dominique, Drexler etc. I’m your man. But for the past 10 years, I’ve maintained a less intense, more conversational knowledge of the game. I know that LeBron is good, Bonzi Wells is not and Danny Ainge’s master plan is to destroy the psyche of every Celtics fan in America. But the details? The in-depth roster knowledge? No idea. I’m the guy who would join your fantasy league and trade Chris Bosh for Karl Malone, because, “Dude, it’s the Mailman”. So when we here at the Blah thought about writing a 2005 NBA Preview, we couldn’t think of a better person to write it than me.

So to preview the 2005 NBA season, we came up with the 12 most important questions we thought needed answering. We then invited Blah guest contributor and NBA aficionado, Rob, to join us to add some legitimacy to this stupid thing. Of course, as you'll soon see, it didn't. Rob and I took turns answering the questions seperately. Rob in his typical all-knowing, drunken ramble. And me, well, I just made stuff up as I went along.

1. Which rookies do you think will make the biggest impact this season?

Rob: There are a number of candidates for impact rookies this year- Chris Paul, Hakim Warrick, and Ryan Gomes. Even Gerald Green and Monta Ellis will provide highlights. But the real impact is going to come from Derron Williams. The Utah Jazz have a ton of talent on the front line in Andrei Kirilenko, Carlos Boozer, Mehmet Okur, and Matt Harpring, but they didn’t have anyone to get them the ball last year. Carlos Arroyo wasn’t the answer but it certainly looks like Derron is going to be. He played four years in a great college program and should be ready to step right in and contribute. He may not put up the best numbers of the rookie point guards, but he will have the most impact on his team’s record.

Greg: Aside from Bogut and the Illinois guard (Williams?) I don’t really know the names of any rookies. But I can tell you this for certain. There will be a white guy from Duke who will under-perform off the bench, a black guy from Kentucky who will never live up to expectations, an over-hyped foreign player who will not be as good as advertised and an undersized player from Boston College who will be playing in Europe in three years.

2. Which player will emerge as the biggest surprise of the season?

Rob: Every year a player wins the Most Improved Player Award because his numbers jump significantly from one year to the next. John Hollinger on ESPN has pointed out continually that this is most often the result of an increase in playing time and not an improvement in a player’s per minute production. This year, I expect one player to break this tradition because he’s actually taking the leap from excellence and obscurity to household name: Pau Gasol. For a number years now, Pau has carried the Grizzlies with no support from players such as Bonzi Wells and Jason (white guy) Williams. This year, the Logo has surrounded him with role players and veterans that can do the little things and will allow the Spaniard to emerge as the All Star that he truly is.

Greg: Manute Bol. Can’t you see it now? The Pacers struggling, going on a 12 game losing streak. Then all of a sudden, in the middle of the 2nd quarter against the Pistons, the lights go off. “The Final Countdown” starts blaring. And Bol, fresh out of retirement, zip lines down from the ceiling wearing full Pacers garb. He goes on to average 0.9 pts and 32.0 blocks a game leading the Pacers to an ultimate loss in the Eastern Conference semifinals.

3. Should the Celtics trade Paul Pierce?

Rob: Yes. I think the Celtics need to welcome the youth movement with open arms. Let’s see a starting five of Delonte West (but Orien Greene will be taking over soon), Ricky Davis, Justin Reed, Al Jefferson, and Raef LaFrentz. You could also put Tony Allen in there instead of Reed, but I love having the defensive stopper on the court. LaFrentz is going to pull the big men out of the lane and give Jefferson some room to work and develop his low post game. And even though Pierce is an incredible talent that can’t be replaced, Ricky Davis doesn’t get nearly enough credit for all the things that he does. Danny? Doc? Let’s make it happen.

Greg: No. How do you trade a player who looks exactly like Jay-Z? Seriously. There should be a rule against this. Is it because Jay-Z has never quite been recognized commercially as one of the greatest rappers ever? I'm sure if Pierce looked like P-Diddy, there's no way we'd even be having this conversation. He deserves better, if you ask me. Has Ainge even heard the "Black Album"? Yeah, that's what I thought.

4. Last year, the league saw the emergence of the small-ball/run and gun style with the Phoenix Suns. Do you see other teams embracing that strategy, particularly those loaded with 6'9 swingmen?

Rob: Embracing and excelling are two very different things. I’m pretty sure that this question is a shot at my beloved Atlanta Hawks (they of the “interchangeable pieces”) and I can’t say that they are going to make Joe Johnson forget about his old running mates. The team concept has been running through the NBA for a couple of years now and the Suns and Spurs exemplified it last year, albeit with two contrasting styles. There are a number of teams that are hoping to get out and run this season in the hopes of mimicking the success of Phoenix and outscoring their opponents. I won’t be the first to say it, but I agree that these teams are going to fail miserably because that team had special talent in Amare and Marion that allowed it to happen. As much as I’d like to say that the Hawks are going to take a huge step forward with this approach, I don’t see anyone emulating the Suns with any success.

Greg: What the hell kind of question is this? The Suns were all 6'9"? Dude, I have no idea. I'll tell you what I do know though. I know that when a man dresses up as a gorilla or and/or a lion and jumps off a trampoline and dunks a basketball during a halftime show . . . I know that THAT is awesome.

5. Can anyone beat the Spurs?

Rob: Anything’s possible. I agree with most experts that the Spurs are still the team to beat. With the core of Duncan, Manu, and Mr. Longoria and a supporting cast that could and have started on most contenders, Pop and his kids may be running the league or a few more years. Of course, that doesn’t mean that everyone else should just go home. The Heat, Pistons, and Pacers are as deep and scary as any team we’ve seen in the East in a really long time. Any one of those teams could take it all, but I expect the teams in the East (isn’t it amazing how quickly the power shifted away from the West?) to beat each other up during the play-offs.

Greg: Tim Duncan is shy. And because of that, the Spurs are vulnerable. Just start chatting him up in the middle of a game and watch him cower in the corner. This is the strategy most teams should use. I'm not sure why this isn't done more often. Ok, why am I not a professional basketball coach? Seriously, with ideas like this, I probably should be.

6. Will the Pistons ever admit Darko was a mistake? Can a new coach salvage anything?

Rob: Who says Darko is a mistake? Even Larry Brown said that he showed an incredible amount of talent in practice. We have to remember that he lost much of his rookie season to injury and that Brown is notorious for not having faith in young players. Remember, Brown is the same coach that basically benched Lebron James and Dwayne Wade during the Olympics. Darko’s coming along nicely this year and it looks like Flip Saunders has some faith in him. With some renewed confidence and a front court that isn’t getting any younger, I think that we can start to see some of the talent that made Darko the number 2 pick in the draft. Oh, and look out for Carlos Delfino to take a big step forward as well.

Greg: Joe Dumars, meet Sam Bowie. Sam Bowie, meet Joe Dumars. Has this joke been made before? Am I not breaking new ground here? Probably not, right? Hey, I don't know, I spend most of my time defending my Underground Hardcore Intercontinental Title and building elaborate G.I.Joe battle stations out of Lego's. So, you know, if the joke has been made before, if it's not "fresh", I apologize. How about this one? ... Hey, did you ever notice how Robert Horry looks just like Will Smith? (honk, honk).

7. How many times will A.I. violate the league dress code?

Rob: (see question 8)

Greg: Why is everyone making such a big deal about what the players are wearing? Who cares? Hey, look, I'm not saying it's a racist thing. BUT . . . I’m sure if David Stern looked good in a purple suit or a skull cap and a Ladanian Tomlinson replica jersey, he’d have no problem with any of it. But to answer your question, 33 times.

8. What are three things the NBA could do to try to regain it's place alongside the NFL and MLB among the general sports consciousness?

Rob: I’ve decided that questions 7 & 8 should be answered together because they answer each other. I understand a lot of the sentiment that the new dress code is a form of racism because the league is asking players to do away with sideways hats, do-rags, chains, and throwbacks and asking them put on Dockers and a Polo. Well this goes far beyond the professionalism that David Stern is trying to instill in all of the kids filling the league benches. Players are saying that the league is trying to take the hip hop out of the players, but it is really trying to sell its product to Middle America. There majority of the players in the league are African-American and there is a large percentage of fans that are also African-American, but Stern has come to realize that the blue collar fans of Ohio and Texas can’t identify with anyone on the court. I don’t want to see the league become a white washed version of itself because one of the things that makes the other leagues so attractive to the majority of the world is the diversity. That diversity comes from stars from multiple ethnic and cultural back grounds. If the NBA doesn’t have that diversity in its stars or the ability to draw the attention of its target market, Stern has to step in and make some changes.

Greg: Stop worrying about what everyone is wearing. Get rid of two-line passing. Allow nunchucks.

9. Who will be this year’s surprise team?

Rob: Look for Houston and Charlotte to take big steps forward this year.

Greg: The Boston Celtics. Come on, who's with me? Yankees suck! Yankees suck! Come on! Yankees suck! Whooooooooooooo! HaHa. Dude ...High five!

10. Is there any way to measure how much David Stern hates Mark Cuban


Rob: I’m pretty sure they measure that by counting the money coming out of Mark’s pocket and landing in David’s hand.

Greg: You could ask.

"Excuse me, Commisioner Stern, do you hate Mark Cuban?"
"Oh yes."
"How much would you say you hate him?"
"Very much so."
"Scale of 1-10. 8.5? 9?"
"Oh, probably 12."
"Oh. Wow. How, um, clevr. You hate him so much, you actually gave me a number that was more than the parameters of the scale I gave you. Wow. That was really great. You must really hate him, eh?"
"I sure do."
"Haha."
"Haha."
"Haha."
(punch to shoulder)

11. Will there be any major trades this season?

Rob: Usually I hate to predict this stuff early in the year because there are so many thing that have to fall in place for a major trade to take place during the season. The real issue is that it’s almost impossible to get full value back for a superstar in season because the team trading for him needs to keep talent in order to compete that same season. With that said, I wouldn’t be surprised to see Steve Francis and Al Harrington both go to contenders. I’ll also let you know that regardless of me asking for it to happen, the Celtics are not going to trade Pierce.

Greg: I have no idea, but I'm sure somehow Isaiah Thomas will find a way to cry.

12. Kurt Rambis (-12) vs. Will Perdue? Who wins?

Rob: When I first saw this question, I was pretty sure that I was taking the sports goggles in this one. And then I had trouble remembering if Will Perdue was the Australian guy or the chicken guy. Finally, I realized that Will Perdue was a key cog during the championship runs in Chicago. Because of that, I’ve got to with ESPN’s newest Insider. I’m such an Insider whore…I apologize.

Greg: Dude. Kurt Rambis. Landslide. No one can handle the sheer power of the Rambo. You don't think with those glasses, he looked a little Superman-esque? What other mere mortal could average 5.4 PPG and program in C++? The closest thing Perdue gets to that sort of awesomeness is I hear he wears a cape when he takes a dump. I mean, who doesn't, right? But, seriously, he does.

And this officially concludes the worst 2005 NBA Preview ever. I'm sure you learned nothing. Thank you.

By now you must have seen the clip of the lunatic running onto the field and stealing the ball away from Brett Favre, right? If not, check it out.

Then check out this parody over at gorillamask where the Burger King guy steals the ball from Brett Favre, probably frightening hundreds of children in the process.

And then you can check out a very, very, very drunk Eli Manning standing with a hot girl at a party. Be sure to scroll down and see some photoshop fun at his expense, which is always awesome.

Those in New England steel yourself for an off-season of these stories. The LA Times looks at potential Manny to the Angels trades getting increasingly complicated. Where have I heard this before? For such a simple man, his trade proposals end up reading like Geneva accords. At least Wells talks just involve splitting the tab on extra buffett spreads.

Bill Simmons with a strong column on the l'affaire Theo. If you've soured on Simmons lately, buck up and don't skip this one, I think he probably hits it closer than anyone else.

TrueHoop (so after complaining about the lack of a quality NBA site, I've now stumbled on at least five) has the storylines of the '05-'06 season.

This week's TMQ includes this rather amazing stat: "Fifteen of Cincinnati's league-leading 20 interceptions have come against NFC North quarterbacks, while all NFC North starting quarterbacks have a five-interception game."

I'm a firm believer that if I spent just a quarter of the time on my portfolio that I spend on various fantasy sports that I could probably quit my day job by now. As it is, I'm more of an index man, but if you're looking to ease your way into the financial game, ProTrade's predictive market portfolio site is great, though it won't get you any closer to retirement. Aaron Schatz looks at the Indy Colts player maybe worthy of a portfolio spot.

So Ty Willingham starts 8-0 and gets nothing but cautionary pats on the back, Charlie starts 5-2 and gets a ten year extension and piles of money. Racist? You bet says Jason Whitlock.

Well, certainly didn't see that coming. I mean, I did, but at this point in the feel good movie, disaster was supposed to be narrowly averted. The knee jerk reaction around town seems to be that Lucchino and his cabal dropped the ball and generally made a mess of things. And they are certainly due a large piece of the pie. It really never should have gotten this far. Then again this is the Red Sox (see Fisk, Carlton). For a supposed PR savvy group it is amazing that they've been able to burn through the World Series goodwill in little less than thirteen months. But maybe Theo really just did change his mind. That's allowed. Maybe he was burnt out, by the job and everything that comes with it. Most of us could relate to that. Maybe he did chafe against the mentor/protege ceiling with Lucchino. We might never know. We do know that just about everyone involved comes out a loser in this.

With the Globe's cozy relationship with the Sox (17% owners), David Scott has an interesting look at the media's role and what role it had to play in Theo's departure.

Certainly all the dirty laundry doesn't make the job look more appealing or finding a successor any easier.

For a look at reaction outside the region, Ken Rosenthal has some thoughts. The New York papers, of course, also weigh in.

And while we are in bizarro world, Derek Jeter reportedly will win his second straight Gold Glove.

Rich Lederer take a peek at the GM classifieds.

Confessions of a Football Junkie wonders why LA needs the NFL when it has USC and the dark horse UCLA Bruins, looks at the travesty of the Nike jester uniforms and succintly sums up my feeling about Boston College better than I could.

The Onion looks at Notre Dame enshrining Bo Jackson to its Hall of Fame and a couple other revisions in store for the program.

Perhaps Peter King was just a few years early, now Len Pasquarelli is aboard the Plummer for MVP train. I could be wrong, but I think maybe having two backs on pace for 1,000 yard season might have a bit more to do with Denver's success. Then again that 'stache has worked wonders.

With the NBA tipping off tonight, Fox Sports has some award predictions while Basketball Junkie has fifteen questions about the Eastern Conference.