The Secret to Suppressing Success
by Greg
Can someone please, please, please explain to me what’s going on over there
in Seattle? I’m at a loss. Anyone? Please? The Mariners are keeping their
best pitcher on the bench, and no one seems to have a reason why. Who is this,
you may be asking? Ladies and gentlemen, meet Rafael Soriano. Now, I understand that Seattle has last year’s rotation intact. And, yes, they were the only
team in the league in 2003 to use the same five starting pitchers all season.
(You hear that? That’s the sound of no one caring.) But realistically, that
feat of Cal Ripken-like Iron Man-ed-nesss may have hurt the M’s in the long
run. My apologies to the people of Seattle, but that rotation doesn’t exactly
cast fear into the hearts of hitters. Ryan Franklin? Gil Meche? Freddy Garcia?
Other than Jamie Moyer, their second half pitching performance was as atrocious
and forgettable as Kathy Bates nude scene in About Schmidt. They looked like
they were pitching drunk, tired or both, lending itself to my theory that
the “we only used 5 pitchers” feat was less of an accomplishment, and more
of an oversight. What I’m saying is this. Rafael Soriano is a beast, and he should, at the
very least, break into that rotation, and be the #3 starter on that Mariner’s
team. But, hey, don’t take my word for it. Look at his numbers.
.162 BAA It’s like having Heidi Klum, naked, in your bed, ready to
go, but at the last minute, opting for a three-way with Hall and Oates. And the list goes on. He gave up 2 home runs in 53 innings pitched. Read
that again. 2 home runs. That translates into, hmm, let’s see . . . 6 HR’s
allowed over 212 IP. Carlos Zambrano led the league with a ridiculous 9 homeruns
allowed. Even wonder boy Mark Prior didn’t have numbers that good. So, why is Soriano stuck in
middle relief, while the Mariners parade their arms of mediocrity around the
American League? It’s like having Heidi Klum, naked, in your bed, ready to
go, but at the last minute, opting for a three-way with Hall and Oates. It’s
maddening. And there will be many reasons given as to why Soriano isn’t in
the rotation. His strained oblique (he’s better, by the way), his inexperience,
his this, his that, the team’s commitment to blah blah blah, the durability
of the starting rotation, the yadda yadda and the who-ha. But the real reason,
the actual, true-to-the-bone reason: good ol’ fashioned stupidity. Brad Radke and Co. put on a clinic on how not to pitch to major league
hitters. For the Seattle Mariners, I have two words: Johan Santana. The brilliant
minds in the Twin-Cities kept Santana hidden in middle relief last season,
while Brad Radke and Co. put on a clinic on how not to pitch to major league
hitters. And surprise, surprise . . . once he started, he merely posted a
12-3 record with a 3.07 ERA, and a .216 BAA.
Learn from other teams mistakes. And if you don’t want to start Soriano, then
make him your closer. Why waste the money on Eddie Guardado when Soriano is
waiting in the wings? Nothing against Mr. Everyday, but the M’s would have
been better-served re-signing Hasegawa, and moving Soriano into the closer’s
role. He’s got Eric Gagne-like stuff, and could quickly become a lights out
closer. Perhaps, dare I say, one of the best in the AL. So Seattle Mariners,
take note, you’re really missing out on a huge opportunity here. With Freddy
Garcia catching his second wind, Joel Piniero a year older, and Jamie Moyer
sporting his “Age is only a number” t-shirt, you could really have something
special. So, seriously, get your heads out of your asses, and use Soriano
the way he should be used. Until then, we’ll see him in the 7th.
Soriano kept opposing hitters dignity at an AL-leading low.
11.55 K/9
5.67 K/BB
.224 OBPA