OK Tom, Please Stop
by Mike Hough
Ah, it must be NFL playoff time in New England. How can I tell, you ask? Maybe it's the frosty nip in the air. Or the fresh snow on the ground. Or maybe it's the legions of prostitutes from New Bedford that have descended on Gillette Stadium to service the assembled mob of drunken football fans with $20 handjobs.Nope, none of the above. I know that it is NFL playoff time in New England because Tom Brady has sounded the Patriots rally cry by claiming (once again) that his team receives “no respect.”
Ok, enough already. We've heard it all before. The “no respect” mantra of the Super Bowl champions is quite ridiculous, and it is about time that somebody calls out Mr. Brady and asks him to just stop it already. Let me begin by saying that I love Tom Brady, right down to that messy but boyishly cute hairdo of his. I mean, really, who wouldn’t love to tussle that hair, give him a firm slap on the ass and a hearty “good job out there today, Tom!” Um, yeah, me neither. But I have to beg him to stop banging the “no respect” gong because, in reality, the Patriots receive as much respect as they deserve.
First of all, I would really, really, like to know exactly which fans and media people have been disrespecting the 2005 New England Patriots? Seriously, name one broadcaster/sportswriter/bartender etc. who lately has said “These Patriots are never going to win in the playoffs.” I certainly haven’t heard it. There was a point this season when the typical analyst said, “I think the Patriots are in trouble.” I think that point was around Week 9, when the Patriots were a .500 team that was looking into treatment options for the anal fissures they suffered from whoopings doled out by the Chargers, Broncos, and Colts. Granted, the media fawned over the Colts and their dream of a perfect season, but since the Patriots turned their fortunes around and Indy lost to San Diego every sportscaster has jumped on the “Peyton Manning and the Colts must be hearing the red-hot Patriots footsteps” bandwagon. To me this sort of sounds like the opposite of disrespect, namely, mad props, yo.
So what, then, is Brady griping about? My guess is that Brady is upset that the Patriots are not considered the favorites to win the AFC, never mind the Super Bowl, despite being two time defending champions. He must think that the Patriots did something this year to earn them all of this respect he feels they deserve because, as we all know, the Patriots as a team and an organization do not look to past success to indicate future performance, right? Right. That being said, let’s put 2005 under the microscope to understand why the Patriots should be the Super Bowl favorites, shall we? (Warning: this will involve some statistics, so I’m going to pause for a minute to let Greg grab his bottle of Lavender scented Jergens off the nightstand and find the special sock on which he has drawn a caricature that bears a striking resemblance to Brian Urlacher. Sometimes its just better not to ask.)
The Patriots have had a strong, to very strong, defense during their title run, so I’m sure Brady must be talking about more ‘spekt for his D, right? That must be it, the defense will lead them to the championship. The only problem is that the Pats vaunted defense ranked 26th in yards allowed per game with 330.2. I was surprised that the Patriots ranked 8th in the NFL in rushing yards allowed per game with 98.8, but their pass defense was absolutely atrocious, ranked 31st in the NFL, better than only San Francisco. Oh, did I mention they were 17th in the league in points allowed with 21.1 per game. For the record, I recognize that the Patriots had their share of injuries, especially in the secondary, but, frankly, what NFL team doesn’t have key of injuries? Harrison’s injury obviously hurt the defense, but losing neither Tyrone Poole nor Randle Gay qualifies as a “key” injury because neither was never, you know, like, that good in the first place. Point is, the Patriots defense does not strike fear into the hearts of their opponents, and has not given anyone a reason to concede the inevitability of a Patriots three-peat.
losing neither Tyrone Poole nor Randle Gay qualifies as a “key” injury because neither was never, you know, like, that good in the first place. If it's not the defense Tom must think that the offense deserves more respect, right? The Patriots 2005 offense has been, dare I say it, pretty good overall. They ranked 7th overall in total yardage, and 10th in total points. Unfortunately, three of the six teams ahead of them in total yardage are Indy, Denver, and Cincinnati, at least one of which they will have to defeat on the road to the Super Bowl. The split between the Pat's running and passing games is interesting: They were 24th in the NFL in rushing with 94.5 yards per game, and 2nd in passing with 257 yards per game. Not exactly the hallmark of a great team.
The breakdown of rushing vs. passing performance is also indicative of the fact that Brady absolutely carried the Patriots in 2005. If Brady played poorly the Patriots did not stand a chance of winning. The best example of this was the Kansas City game, where Brady threw four interceptions and the Patriots lost 26-16 in a game that really wasn’t that close. I don’t think it is a coincidence that the Patriots are undefeated behind Brady in his nine playoff games – he hasn’t had a bad playoff outing yet, completing 62.5 percent of his postseason passes for 1,950 yards and only 3 picks in 304 attempts. He is bound to have a bad game eventually, and when he does, the Patriots flaws as a team will become obvious.
So, if we can’t point to either the Patriots offense or defense to build a convincing case why the team should be favored to win the Super Bowl then how did they measure up head-to-head against the rest of the NFL in 2005? The teams they beat that had a winning record at the time of each game were Pittsburgh (Week 3), Atlanta (Week 5), and Tampa (Week 15), though beating Tampa in the cold New England winter is about as difficult as beating Contra with the cheat code for 30 extra lives (up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start.) Other winning teams like Carolina, San Diego, Denver, Indy, and Kansas City abused the Pats like a Japanese girl in a bukake video. But hey, the Pats did rack up some impressive wins against the Jets (2), Buffalo (2), Oakland, Miami, and New Orleans. The late season winning streak against the NFL’s doormat teams probably restored what was left of the Pats self respect, but by no means did give us reason to believe that the Patriots are all of a sudden better than the teams that schooled them earlier in the season.
What this all boils down to is that nobody disrespects the 2005 Patriots, but most people are objective and realistic about their chances of winning in this years playoffs based on their performance all season. The Patriots have something to prove after a 2005 regular season where they finished in the middle of the statistical pack, made the playoffs by virtue of winning perhaps the weakest division in the NFL and struggled against the league’s elite teams. While everyone is eagerly anticipating a New England vs. Indianapolis showdown to decide the AFC, lets be realistic: Without their history the Patriots would be given as much chance of beating Indy this year as the Washington Redskins have of beating Chicago (I hear the Bears are more awesome than five thousand ninjas.) Brady needs to realize that the Patriots are given due respect for being the reigning champs, but that he just sounds silly when he wonders aloud where all the love is after the team’s turd of a season. We will all respect Brady and the Patriots if they quietly do what they have done the past two years – prove us all wrong. Then we’ll have no choice. Otherwise, for everyone’s sake, please just stop it with the respect thing. We get it.
Plesae, aren't the perfect teeth
and coiffed hair enough?